“If they don’t [know their faith], their mother certainly does, and she makes sure things happen,” Ms. Crino said. Ms. Ekblad, a charismatic Catholic, said that she lets God guide her choice for godparents. Basically, Ruby and her family adopted all of us.”. The doctors said that if she survived birth, she would be blind, unable to walk or talk and would only ever suffer. “We think of water when we think about baptism, but what about the light, the way that light gets spread and who’s responsible for maintaining and sharing that light?” Ms. Nelson said. “Now we’re connected forever, both ways,” she said. When Joan Nelson’s lifelong friend Cathy asked her to be the godmother for her unborn daughter, she readily agreed. Afterward, more than one person told Ms. Nelson that they had been away from the church but that the funeral sermon made them rethink things, and they wanted to start going to Mass again. Gift giving is an important part of the recognition of baptism, both for the child and for godparents. “But sometimes the rules bring people back,” Ms. Nelson said. “I don’t know if that’s a thing,” she said. If the person to be baptized is a baby or young child, the godparent or godparents speak on his or her behalf at the baptism, responding to the question, “What do you ask of God’s church?” with the answer “Faith!”, But on the godparents’ role after the baptism, the church is less specific. In about 800 AD, infant baptism became a common practice and this tradition shaped the contemporary role of godparents. Ms. Nelson said, “I say he’s not Catholic—yet.”. A non-Catholic person may not be a godparent at a Catholic baptism. Password reset instructions will be sent to your registered email address. “I was absolutely floored. Choosing a Godparent: The choice of godparents is very important since they serve as role models for the child by living a fully Christian life and encouraging the child in the experience of the Catholic Faith. But she calls her granddaughter’s godmother “the ultimate godparent,” who brings Christmas and birthday presents, lets her goddaughter walk the Stations of the Cross with her during Lent and prays the rosary for her every day. How did your godparents shape your life? The work of choosing … Our 7 year old has a Lutheran godmother, his aunt, as he was baptized Lutheran. Ms. Crino said that her religious education class now includes very few Hispanics, a group that had previously attended in larger numbers. So how does one go about this task? Godparents are often chosen before babies are born. Choosing a godparent is not choosing a favorite friend or relative, rather it is choosing someone to play a role in your child’s life. Tiny pieces of plastic waste, already found at the top of Mount Everest and the bottom of the ocean, may now have a toehold in the human womb, writes Kathleen Bonnette. 2. Thanks to fairy tales like Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty, the concept of godparents is often taken to mean magical beings who grant wishes or make our lives easier. Being a godparent is therefore more than just fulfilling a centuries old Catholic tradition. The early Christians faced persecution during the formative years of Christianity (circa 300 AD). “It’s not a matter of finding the most accurate argument for the faith. If you are choosing two godparents, one must be male and the other female. For more on choosing godparents, check out the FAQ above, Belonging: Baptism in the Family of God – Role of Godparents and Fr. “She walked, she talked, she was the school spelling bee champ, she played soccer, she was in plays. Some describe feeling pressure from friends and family to choose someone they consider to be unsuitable for the task. She had heart surgery and lived to be 9 years old before her shunt finally failed. Getting caught practicing their faith could mean death so they needed to careful about conducting their religious activities. There was nothing that could be done. “We wanted my kids to have an example in the faith, which is hard to come by—someone practicing, close to God, someone approachable, honest about the faith, someone I am close with,” Ms. Hayes said. In the early days of Christianity, when persecution was rampant, the situation was reversed. He was traditional like that,” Ms. Adams said. A large number of those surveyed said they view the role of a godparent as simply an honorary title bestowed on some favorite relative or friend in a one-day ceremonial event. In an ideal situation, a child’s godparents must be available to guide a child during different important life events like birthdays, first communions, graduations and school programs.This may not always be possible but a godparent can be part of these milestones in other ways like sending greeting cards with words of wisdom and Bible verses or giving meaningful gifts that their godchild can use to deepen their faith such as rosary beads and Christian books. A baptized non-Catholic may be picked as a Christian Witness if he or she meets the set requirements. Choosing a Godparent: The day of Baptism is a very special day. Since you’re a frequent reader of our website, we want to be able to share even more great, As a frequent reader of our website, you know how important, Godfriends: when your godchild happens to be an adult, In rare rebuke, Cardinal Cupich criticizes USCCB president’s letter to President Biden, Pope Francis sends greeting to President Biden, contrasting with sharper message from head of U.S. bishops, How Joe Biden’s Catholic faith will shape his relationship with Pope Francis—and the U.S. bishops, Five faith facts about Biden VP Kamala Harris, O Death, Where Is Thy Sting? Now she speaks more simply about what parents are asking for when they seek out baptism for their children. The Catholic Church also has a set of specific requirements for people who are to fulfill the role of godparent. “The majority probably aren’t practicing [Catholics]. But Maria Hayes, who immigrated from Warsaw two years ago, said that at least in Poland, strong religious identity does not always translate into strong personal faith. Many times, parents choose their child’s godparents simply because they have been part of their family’s life. Even if they are practicing Catholics, she said, many do not know a single person who fulfills the criteria to be a godparent. One common misunderstanding: Parents sometimes assume that “godparent” is the same as “legal guardian,” while the godparents themselves expect to provide nothing more than a greeting card and an occasional prayer. Regularly check in on your godchild to ask about his or her needs and struggles and pray about them. After logging in you can close it and return to this page. This was the case with Ms. Adams’s own godmother, who no longer acknowledges their relationship. Many times, parents choose their child’s godparents simply because they have been part of their family’s life. Members of the Eastern Churches are distinguished from members of ecclesial communities. Please contact us at members@americamedia.org with any questions. 7 tips on what to listen to in prayer. Choosing the right Godparents for your child is a very important decision. So how does one go about this task? People often want to ask their best friends or favorite relatives to act as Godparents for their children; they usually do this as a way of honoring someone. They were accountable for ensuring the credibility of anyone joining the faith. No Catholic family members on either side unfortunately. “But I think the babies intercede for them.”. How to Choose a Godparent. Considering the influence and custodial responsibility that godparents have over their godchild, much more thought must be put into choosing a godfather or godmother. Considering the influence and custodial responsibility that godparents have over their godchild, much more thought must be put into choosing a godfather or godmother. So what does the church actually require of godparents? “I got out of that mode pretty fast,” Ms. Crino said. Of course, we all would like to honor those who are dear to us, but the Baptism of your child may not be the right time to do so. She has spent many years preparing parents for their infants’ baptism and preparing children over the age of 7 who come into the church through the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults. The Catholic Church has canon law about choosing godparents as sponsors for babies who are being baptized. We sometimes forget the spiritual role that godparents have in the lives of their children. Instead, parents often turn up at the parish office asking for baptism without understanding in any depth what the sacrament means. But as soon as Bailey asked Ruby to sponsor her, she excitedly launched plans to buy Bailey a dress, shoes and jewelry. “I was a nominal Catholic, at best, until about 15 years ago,” Ms. Ekblad said. She estimated that 90 percent of Poles consider themselves Catholic, and religion is routinely taught in the schools. The priest may allow someone younger than 16 to be a a godparent, if he or she meets the other requirements, He or she cannot be a Catholic who has left the church, How Catholics Celebrate The Feast Of The Most Precious Blood Of Jesus, History of the Catholic Charismatic Movement. “It’s not worth it to fight it.”. Someone from one of the Eastern Churches may be a godparent, but only if there is also a Catholic godparent. As with all things infused with grace, the godparenting relationship can work in more than one way, drawing both child and godparent closer to Christ. “She was a child of the light,” Ms. Nelson remembers the priest saying. Today, it is far less likely that some impostor would seek baptism under false pretenses. Rather than using baptism as an opportunity to draw in sponsors, the church needed to be wary of infiltrators posing as catechumens. A godparent must be Catholic. When Ms. Adams’s husband, Stacey, was married to his now ex-wife, they chose his best friend and her sister as godparents to their three sons. Ms. Crino is the director of religious education and a pastoral associate at St. Emily Church in Mount Prospect, Ill. She has been working for the church in Chicago for 34 years. Ms. Adams was raised culturally Catholic—“statues all over the place,” she said—but her mother did not go to Mass, and Ms. Adams drifted toward the Baptist Church. When you register, you’ll get unlimited access to our website and a free subscription to our email newsletter for daily updates with a smart, Catholic take on faith and culture from, We’re sorry registration isn't working smoothly for you. Catholic etiquette dictates that a potential godparent be a practicing member of the church. Some of her children, who range in age from 1 to 26, are now old enough to be godparents for their own siblings. A godparent must be a good example of living their Catholic faith. Sometimes, parents want to honor (or appease) so many people that they choose six, seven or eight godparents, even though canon law allows for no more than two. They may be relatives or friends of the family. “These are folks who are raised with nothing. But this ubiquitous Catholicism, she said, is mainly a cultural identity and lacks a spiritual component. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and 10 kids. “Only two go on the register, but we put them all on the certificate,” Ms. Crino said. Choosing a Godparent How to chose a Godparent(s) for your child. Godparents must be at least 16 years old and may not be the child's parent (step parent, father or … She said the book “assumed a level of conversation with the faith that a lot of parents just don’t have.”, “Someone practicing, close to God, someone approachable, honest about the faith, someone I am close with.”, Early in her career, Ms. Crino would try to engage new parents in “long conversations about St. Augustine and original sin,” until she realized that the new moms were “ready to kill [her] because it was time to nurse.”. A correction has been made to this article, which appeared in the October 15, 2018 issue. Not long ago in Ms. Nelson’s parish, a Catholic mother married to a non-Catholic man chose her younger brother as godfather. We have one practicing Catholic friend close enough to be a godparent and she and her husband are already godparents to our 4 and 2 year old! A Meditation on Suffering. A Godparent is a Catholic person of mature faith who is and will be a support and witness to the child throughout his/her journey of faith. We ask readers to log in so that we can recognize you as a registered user and give you unrestricted access to our website. Choose an eligible Godparent(s). Last but not the least, godparents were essential spiritual guides for children whose Christian parents were persecuted and martyred. Wondering why we ask for your email, or having trouble registering. When she married and gave birth to her daughter, she and her husband chose a close friend to be the godmother; but since the friend's husband is a Methodist pastor, she chose her husband's friend to be the godfather. Ms. Adams herself chose some of her children’s godparents under duress, simply to avoid offending family members. Godparents or the sponsors of the baptized infant were accountable for helping parents guide their children in their journey of faith. And she holds out hope that the child’s father will also draw closer to the church. Canon law says godparents must be practicing Catholics, be at least 16 years old (with some exceptions) and have received the three sacraments of initiation (baptism, confirmation and the Eucharist). When as a teenager she gave birth to her first child, Anthony, she chose her uncle as the godfather. Ms. Ekblad does not know if the relationships between these pairs would be as strong as they are without that spiritual tie, but she is certain it is good for the older kids to have the responsibility of praying for their siblings and being active in forming their faith. Joan Nelson, the director of evangelization for young families at St. Edward the Confessor Church in Richmond, Va., is intimately familiar with that need for community. She tries to present the church’s teaching on godparents as a positive opportunity rather than a list of rules. “My job was to pray with them and to pray for them and to be present as much as they needed me.”. Does this person have the solid moral character necessary to become a good role model for the child? He or she should have received the three sacraments of initiation which are baptism, confirmation and the eucharist, He or she must be living a morally upright life, He or she has no penalties in the church, He or she must not be the parent of the child, He or she must be mature enough to uphold the responsibilities associated with the role. This article also appeared in print, under the headline “How to Choose the Right Godparent: Baptisms can bring fallen away Catholics back to the faith,” in the October 15, 2018, issue. Here are some key things which might help you decide: Godparents will be people who’ll be in touch with your family for many years to come. Ms. Nelson said that many older children who seek baptism are not being raised Catholic but attend Catholic school. Does the person faithfully believe and practice the teachings of the Catholic Church? “They want something, but they can’t articulate it at all,” Ms. Crino said. Despite the life-long implications of choosing godparents, the parents themselves are often not the only party with a say in the decision. You can also manage your account details and your print subscription after logging in. The Godparent must be suitable for this role and have the intention of fulfilling it. The godparent’s faith need not … Barbara Dawson said that she barely knew Ruby, her daughter Bailey’s confirmation sponsor. The church requires at least one godparent who is a practicing, confirmed Catholic age 16 or older. But sometimes, said Catherine Crino, they want something more. “They want something for their kids, or they see something in their fiancé’s family, and they want to be a part of it.”. She said it is common for people who were not confirmed, or even refused confirmation earlier in their lives, to ask to be confirmed as adults just so they can become godparents. His relationship with God as a Catholic will help him to do so. Godparents have a very influential role not just in the lives of their godchildren but also in the family and even society as a whole. This information will answer many of your questions concerning Church requirements for Godparents. Microplastics are toxic to fetal development—a reminder that the environment is a pro-life issue, too. Once a godparent is named, that person remains a godparent for life, no matter what else changes or falls apart. It was understood that he would help raise the boy if the parents died, though. The Catechism of the Catholic Church reminds us that “faith needs the community of believers,” and it names godparents as the most immediate members of that community for the newly baptized as their faith “unfolds.”, Godparents, according to the catechism, “must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized.” They are an important part of the “ecclesial community [that] bears some responsibility for the development and safeguarding of the grace given at baptism.”, Godparents, according to the Catechism, “must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized.”. Sometimes the grandparents are pressuring them to go through with it; sometimes they are simply looking for a beautiful backdrop for what they see as a purely cultural rite of passage for their baby. Leticia Ochoa Adams, a writer who lives in Texas, said that in Hispanic culture choosing godparents is almost like adding to the family. Godparents live a life in harmony with the faith and strive to actively live out their commitment to Christ and to … This was how the initial role of godparents came to existence. They want something for their kids, or they see something in their fiancé’s family, and they want to be a part of it.”, Years ago, she co-authored a book on baptism preparation, but she said it would not be useful now, considering how poorly catechized so many parents are. When Ms. Hayes chose godparents, her faith had already deepened and matured; but Amy Ekblad, a homeschooling mother of 13 children, did not come back to the faith until around the time of her fifth child’s birth. It is expected that a godparent be a firm believer in the teachings of the Catholic Church, and be ready to take on the role of a spiritual guide for the newly baptized. this helps us promote a safe and accountable online community, and allows us to update you when other commenters reply to your posts. As president, Joe Biden will have to seek common ground across a wide ideological spectrum, writes Congressman Tom Suozzi of New York. There are several requirements for choosing Catholic godparents that are outlined in the Code of Canon Law, 872-874, as explained by Madrid. The godparent must be a practicing Catholic in good standing with the Church who has received the sacraments of holy Eucharist and confirmation and “leads a life in harmony with the faith and the role to be undertaken.” The sponsor must not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized. Today her class is about half Filipinos, Poles and Indians. After a series of divorces, remarriages and other upheavals, Ms. Adams’s husband’s sister is now her ex-boyfriends’ children’s godmother, and the man for whom Stacey’s ex-wife left him is his children’s godfather—for life. The godparent’s faith need not … In all, godparents serve a special role in the life of the baptized person. Godparents must be baptized Catholics who have received the Eucharist and have been Confirmed. For some parents the choice seems obvious; for others it is a struggle. As all of us are practicing Catholics, my sister and her husband wanted to have my brother and I over for a “godparent lunch” to discuss how they saw our role as godparents in their child’s life and what we understood this important role to be. As a frequent reader of our website, you know how important America’s voice is in the conversation about the church and the world. Godparents play a significant role on the day of the baptism. The true intent is that the godparent be an active, practicing Catholic, someone who treasures the Catholic faith, provides good example and would joyfully and eagerly be a partner with the parents in raising the child in the faith. Choosing godparents SPONSORS: (Code of Canon Law #’s 872-874) The responsibility of choosing godparents is a serious one that should be thought and prayed about. Ms. Nelson often has the unpleasant task of telling them they cannot honor friends with the godparent role because they are not Catholic or because they are in an invalid marriage. The requirements for godparents are: Being a practicing Catholic Be over 16 years of age Therefore, each parent should choose a godparent not just because of a blood relationship or friendship; rather, a godparent should be a trustworthy witness of the faith who will help the godchild attain salvation. Then they discovered that the child had a severe heart defect and encephalitis. We can't do it without you—America Media relies on generous support from our readers. The baby, named Betsy, was born almost full term. It was the baptismal sponsor’s job not only to assist the new Christian in the development of his faith but to vouch for his sincerity. At least one of the godparents must be a member of the Catholic Church. Second, Godparents had to protect the doctrine of the Faith from paganism and persecution in the early days. Godparents have a very influential role not just in the lives of their godchildren but also in the family and even society as a whole. Although the godmother’s husband (and father of her godson) is not Catholic, the couples talk about faith all the time and laugh about it. Check out some of the. I never went to church as a child, but I went to first Communion and got a party.” Her own godparents were friends of her nonbelieving parents, and she has no relationship with them. “I talk to them about picking out a cross and putting it in their child’s room, about getting a children’s Bible and reading it to them. The role our godparents have in our journey here on earth is actually so much more significant so we must be careful in the people we choose to take up that role. They pressured the parents to abort, but as staunch Catholics, Cathy and her husband resisted. “They didn’t need anything material at that point. When Betsy died, over 1,000 people attended her funeral, where the priest reminded the congregation of the candle that Ms. Nelson and her husband had held on Betsy’s behalf at her baptism nine years before. Please log in again. James Martin’s new book on prayer. She said her tio was a “good Catholic,” but she never expected him to teach her son any theology. The most fundamental way to fulfill this role is through prayer so always make your godchild a part of your daily prayers. The presider at baptism asks the godparents, “Are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duty as Christian parents?” And the godparents respond, “We are.”. “Her family was already buying candles and rosaries in Mexico, and she was planning to get Bailey stuff on her trip to Israel. Her brother asked to be confirmed so he could be “a proper and good godfather” for his nephew. You can do this by setting aside a special time that you and your godchild can spend together. Copyright © 2021 America Press Inc. | All Rights Reserved. You can best teach your godchild important spiritual lessons for life if you are able to build a trusting and loving relationship with them. Baptism is the first of the seven sacraments of the Catholic Church and the gateway into the Christian life. A baptized non-Catholic may be picked as a Christian Witness if he or she meets the set requirements. How to choose: Choosing a friend or relative as godparent may enlarge the family, but it can also add to family drama and discord. If you're baptizing your child in the Church, you will want to check with your spiritual leader about the prerequisites for being a godparent. “It’s part of our friendship to discuss the faith, and I don’t feel like I need to tiptoe around the topic,” Ms. Hayes said, adding that she did not have a “big plan” to bring him into the Catholic Church. “Asking someone to be a godparent is a big deal, kind of like asking someone to walk you down the aisle at your wedding,” Ms. Adams said. We hope that parents choose godparents who will take an active role in the faith formation of their child. A godparent must be willing to encourage the child to develop and grow in the Catholic faith. , are usually choosing godparents catholic to the United States, they want something, but must. A generation and a half, she excitedly launched plans to buy Bailey a dress, and. Someone the family does not see often listen to in prayer birth to first! 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