He doesn’t care if you finish. He posts about his dogs, cooking, and going fishing. Since that event, I told myself I overreacted, the pain wasn't THAT bad, it didn't last THAT long, I never actually said no. Take your pick! This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. The thing is, the people that matter know all about me and are happy for us. After all, he should be the one chasing you, not the other way around. Don’t worry, to all the women who wonder about this, today, I’ll give you complete clarity of a man’s thoughts and feelings when he falls in love. So people see it. You still care about him immensely. and his defense mechanism kicks in and shuts down. Press J to jump to the feed. He doesn’t care about you one bit. This is awful! Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I would just focus on what it used to be like with him, and what it (hopefully) would be again. I would guess that there virtually is no communication between the 2 of them. Here are four. You’re an absolute goddess and if a guy doesn’t treat you like one, then he is not worthy of you. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. As long as you’re clueless about your future, he doesn’t … Even if they were somehow how the most amazing partner and the only bad thing they did was this - it is not okay. Frankly no is no, he is hurting you do why are you staying, I thought the bleeding was because he rammed into her aggressively after he slipped out (didn't penetrate), I'm sorry but what your husband is doing sounds like sexual assault. 2. Please consult a doctor and also a therapist. He stopped because he saw a bunch of blood and when you came out of the bathroomn he asked if he could finish. Vaginismus often has mental causes - it's a failure of the vaginal muscles to relax during sex, and experiencing sexual abuse will definitely cause this. Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/relationship_advice. You have to learn how to cope with it. you need to leave. No contact is easy when the person who you're trying to get over doesn't want anything to do with you. He loves sex, and it's very easy for me to turn him on and get things going, the problem is is that I'm getting tired of being the only one to initiate it. I can't even begin to list all the problems I have—money, health, job, family tensions, you name it. I am not AT ALL surprised she's experiencing regular vaginismus. A guy who’s head over heels in love with you will go crazy or jealous upon knowing that some other guy caught your eye. After you try it once, you will be a fan. But, if you’re bleeding during sex, I think it’s really, really important that you schedule a Pap smear ASAP. His face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and he said I had to do it. 8. But you can leave as soon as you see signs that he doesn’t care. If your boss waits until the required formal performance review to tell you how you’re doing (that is, if you have a review at all), he doesn’t value you. I'm wondering how much OP and her husband talk/communicate on a normal basis. and his defense mechanism kicks in and shuts down. It just took an opportunity to do what it’s supposed to do. Once I got away from that relationship and got some counseling, sex stopped being painful with other partners. Even though your ex may seem like he has the "off switch" that you wish you desperately had, you don't. If you’re a candidate for the black sheep journal, you’ll find redemption in these words. 5 Signs He Doesn't Care About Your Feelings & Doesn't Take The Relationship Seriously. I would leave the relationship/sex, bc it’s abuse. I hate that this is a thing, but it is a thing. The mood was bad after that. Sex is supposed to feel good for both parties. It’s understandable to feel bummed when a guy doesn’t care about you the way you care about him, and shedding tears over the situation can actually help you feel better. If he wants to try something a little different, he expects you to go along with it. When I got home he told my mom what happened and they got into an argument over it. Q. If he's large he may be hitting her cervix, which is extremely painful. He doesn’t think of you when he’s making decisions. By Cosmo Luce. I developed vaginismis from my ex husband. It doesn’t give a shit about you. When your partner or family members need you, you somehow manage it to help them in the best … He doesn’t care about you. One time, he slipped out of me, and slammed into me wrong, causing a lot of pain. What I ended up reading: A story about rape. That's okay. He’s scared because he knows that you’re the real deal, and maybe, right now, that’s not what he wants. They have been asked to help someone to grow and learn to be an adult. 17. It confuses me a lot. He was will say things like “yeah if you want to” or “we can if you want” which makes me feel like he doesn’t actually want to do whatever it is and is only going along with it to please me. I'm a guy and my wife has endometriosis so sex has been painful for her at times. Soon after getting married, there was a string of hurtful sexual encounters. These types of events have happened sporadically, not as noteworthy, possibly because I've taught myself to mentally shutdown during sex and not think about anything. Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. He is Not Willing To Spend On You. I was sexually abused and raped repeatedly by my first partner during a three year relationship. When you spilled your heart out to him, when you told him everything you have been bottling up inside, and he acted like you were crazy. I've given up on God because He doesn't seem to care about me. If you figure out you’re on different pages, you might leave him, and that’s a risk he’s avoiding. So for as long as he can, he’s going to keep you in the dark. In bed, it’s all about him! You definitely don’t sound like you want a relationship. You definitely don’t sound like you want a relationship. To the point where if he doesn't initiate sex, we don't have sex more than once every 2-3 weeks unless I initiate it. I am so so sorry that you are in this situation. As for getting him to talk, saying, “I’m here if there’s anything you want to talk about,” doesn’t actually get people talking. I find what helps is if you initiate the conversation. I just let it happen. Does that mean she has very low self esteem and no self respect, or just that she doesn't really love him enough to care that he cheated. I have been married for 5 years, I have a 16 month old daughter, we own a house, we are both well educated, and financially stable, have caring families, from the outside everything looks perfect! A sudden random “how are you” text/call: Though he is ignoring you, if he thinks about you daily, he tends to start missing you more and more. Your partner should not be raping you. 5. I didnt say no, I didnt fight back, I froze. Take care of your daughter and yourself. You don’t want to be with a man who has to lose you in order to finally wake up to himself and realize you are in fact what he wants, or, on top of that, a man who wouldn’t even care if he … 8. If he doesn’t care enough to make you happy he probably doesn’t care much at all. The text of the post has been preserved below. What OP is describing is horrifying to even hear. There is a user on here, https://www.reddit.com/user/Ebbie45 she is a domestic violence crisis counselor and there are a lot of resources on abusive relationships and how to safely leave one, if you choose, and how to stay safe in one, if you decide to stay. You need to find out what is causing you the pain. I thought I could get through the pain ( I have undiagnosed vaginismus, at that time pain with sex was normal), but then there was a lot of blood. He called me disrespectful and I shouldn’t be saying he doesn’t care when he’s trying to be a good dad to me. I know he loves me, I can tell by the way he looks at me and body language in general, but he doesn’t star conversations with me, … I was taken aback, I said no, and that was the end of that situation. Fear will do that to you. I am getting so angry at him. 17. They Don’t Support You Back. If he’s been wishy-washy with you from the beginning, then his texting is a reflection of how he feels. Sign #7: He doesn’t ask you any questions about you and doesn’t seem interested in who you are. In other words, men generally spend more of their money on things they consider important to them. No one can make a child care about something. Anonymous: There are numerous techniques to train a male to delay orgasm including Tantric Yoga. He doesn’t care about you one bit. But now, since I hated him for so long and he was so abusive, my body did NOT want to have sex with him. The thing is, if he just doesn’t care, it’s already over; he just doesn’t have the balls to tell you that. If overall he seems really into you (and when a guy likes you, it’s easy to see), and he doesn’t text back, then it’s probably because he’s busy or distracted. But why is this so difficult for a parent, a adult? Things just seem to work better when there's less friction. If he lays a hand on you or becomes violent, leave immediately. When I came out of the bathroom my husband simply asked if he could continue and finish. I've given up on God because He doesn't seem to care about me. Since he doesn't care enough about you, he has no business joining you in such a discussion. Cookies help us deliver our Services. Sex was always painful, even when I consented. Moving in was extremely hard for me and we seemed to get on each other's nerves more than I thought we would. It works when they’re ready to talk but nervous about broaching a subject. You’re happy, and financially secure, and everyone thinks you’re the perfect couple and you’re married to an abusive, misogynistic rapist. After that, I stopped trying to make sex about me, or even us. If he's distant, it's because he doesn't care enough. He was so pissed off when he threw away the cake. It feels like he doesn't care about me and the kids. 1. You can get to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows. This is the most obvious sign a guy will ever show, and though one of the most painful, it is the most honest. In other words, men generally spend more of their money on things they consider important to them. From time to time, everybody makes excuses and compromises in … From time to time, everybody makes excuses and compromises in … This can be a painful position for me, so I resisted, and simply asked if we could do a different position. I know you say God cares about us but I haven't seen any evidence of it in my life. Aug. 28, 2017. Once he’s finished, he’s ready to go straight to sleep — he couldn’t care … He wants me to apologize for giving him attitude and for what I said. She doesn’t praise you publicly. Think about it this way, do you want to put up with this for another 5 years, another 10..another 30... No! A2A Parents are given a very difficult task. She doesn’t praise you publicly. And he’s probably cheating anyway. MORE: The 9 Biggest Signs He Doesn’t Want To Be With You Anymore. Most people never see the obvious anyway. Be honest about what you’re feeling and what you need and maybe it’ll prompt him to be honest in return. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. He is Not Willing To Spend On You. Thankfully, he did start going to counseling and we changed some situations, so we're much better off now. What I read here when I read your words is that my husband repeatedly raped me and I say I have vaginismus to blame myself instead of admitting to myself that my husband is a monster. Or he’s in a emotional prison,distraught,hurt,angry,etc. He stopped upon seeing the blood, I cleaned myself up and was worried about the amount of blood and pain I was in. He says “I love you” maybe once or twice a month, and we aren’t really intimate with each other (again just once or twice a month). Her description of mentally shutting down during sex is a trauma response and is very common in people who are repeatedly raped. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. If he doesn’t see how great you are, then he is blind and dumb. I know you say God cares about us but I haven't seen any evidence of it in my life. The reality is, families who don’t care for each other are ultra-common. There are resources/support systems out there to help those who have been victimized. I am getting so angry at him. If it doesn't, you need to stop and communicate with your partner. She may well have vaginismus but that makes his assaults all the worse as he KNOWS he’s supposed to be gentle, and careful with his beloved wife. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! But, to numb the feelings a little bit, I sometimes just constantly remind myself that the person doesn't share the same feelings and that they aren't good enough for me or don't appreciate my many, great qualities I have and that I shouldn't waste my time caring about someone who doesn't care about me. Toxic family members can cause a lot of stress when they show the signs your family doesn’t care about you (signs 1-4 below). You have to have self-love and dignity not to chase anyone. What I thought I was going to read: A story about a selfish lover. Source: I’m a doctor. Moderators remove posts from feeds for a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, and true to their purpose. The answer to your question is so simple, yet sooo many people seem to dance around it. That being said, sex isn't supposed to hurt so much. Don't waste your time with a guy who doesn't care about your pleasure and who would rather hear lies. He treats me so well, but more like a friend than anything. I hate to break it to you but your husband is a fucking rapist. Or he’s in a emotional prison,distraught,hurt,angry,etc. More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Try doing No contact if you haven't already. Less sex and affection is pretty normal once you get out of the honeymoon phase. You can get to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows. Sex for him is all about being in control. I just let it happen. Need help with your relationship? Thus a small part of him doesn’t want to lose you while the other part wants to know what you are doing. If he doesn’t ask or doesn’t show any signs that he’s bothered with a possible competition out there, you can bet he really doesn’t care … One way is to approach him the way you want to be approached, which is why I suggested initiating the conversation yourself. Bf acts as if he doesn't care about me Me (24f) and my bf (26m) have been together for a few years and living together for the last year. Cookies help us deliver our Services. You don’t have time to waste it on someone who doesn’t value it. You should also see a psychologist/counselor and discuss these issues with them. I tag him in our photos and check us in places, and he doesn’t untag himself. He’s made it abundantly clear that his needs are far more important than yours. Has it always hurt this much? Hello, new to reddit, but looking for third party advice on a very personal topic. Once you get to a certain age, you start to understand that you need to want more for yourself. When he’s leading you on, he does what’s of his best interest. So hold on to your nerve while you dive deep into the … People care about themselves and how a situation will increase what’s valuable to them. I agree with everyone else that this sounds very much like sexual assault/rape. Just like anything else in life you want to master, it will require consistent practice. I liked sex before him, and had no problems at all. If your husband cared for you at all he would want to make sure he wasn't hurting you... especiallydueing sex! Every syllable of this. His face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and he said I had to do it. Maybe he’ll just give you an, “Okay,” that will feel underwhelming, but you have to give him time to come to you and create an atmosphere where he can approach you. I know our bodies change as we get older(especially women) so don't be afraid to use some lube. Need help with your relationship? Possibly because you grew up sheltered, you don’t know how to advocate for yourself and tell your husband no and call the police when necessary. So he doesn’t give a shit about you. Leave. We have a child, my husband obviously loves her, but these situations always nag at me, more so since I am raising a daughter. He isn’t moved when other guys get your attention. It may be time for this parent to change her focus. I need advice on next steps in my relationship. The flu isn’t out to get you. He doesn’t deserve to have such a … It makes me feel king of shitty. So now I need to do therapy for the mental block keeping my body from opening up, and my next partner is going to have to be real patient I guess. 09/03/2012 12:59 Subject: My boyfriend cums too fast and doesn't understand why it bums me out. Or – signs your family doesn’t like you. I don’t care if he doesn’t post about me for acquaintances to see. Like you had no reason to talk to him that way. Does he think about sex, or think about the woman he loves, or simply doesn’t care much? My fiance and I went through most of a school year in which he was depressed and suicidal and all kinds of shit, and I ended up doing this a lot. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. I didnt say no, I didnt fight back, I froze. Outside of this... there are still happy moments. If he thinks more, all he … That girl you want to date doesn’t care that you can’t get her off your mind. A few months later, after a long string of sex only about him (I did not orgasm but I was very timid and never said anything), we were having sex, and he started to move me into doggystyle. I'm going to let you know a secret. It feels like he doesn't care about me and the kids. If we try and ask him to stop, he says we are ‘crazy’ and doesn’t know what we are talking about!” “We took a personality test and I am a 9.75 out of 10 on caring for others. You don’t want to be with a man who has to lose you in order to finally wake up to himself and realize you are in fact what he wants, or, on top of that, a man who wouldn’t even care if he … He probably does care about you, he does enjoy spending time with you, he does like you … he just doesn’t like you enough. He doesn’t want to commit, but that doesn’t mean he wants you to kick him out of your life. He kisses me but mostly on the forehead, and when we’re together in public he doesn’t tend to hold my hand unless I hold his first. X Research source [16] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source He’s not worth it. He’s scared because he knows that you’re the real deal, and maybe, right now, that’s not what he wants. That was 4 years ago now. Just wanted to add, if not in the US visit www.hotpeachpages.net. Have you had a sexual partner before? This is a clear sign that he still thinks about you. Son Doesn't Care About School and Grades. It is just about him. Listen up. Press J to jump to the feed. Either way ,it doesn’t sound like you guys should be together. He doesn’t consider what you want, he only thinks about his needs. WHAT KIND OF A SELFISH SON OF A $!+*# DOES THIS... TO HIS OWN WIFE NO LESS!?!? And, yes, definitely check out ebbie's profile. 5 Signs He Doesn't Care About Your Feelings & Doesn't Take The Relationship Seriously. He tells you he loves you even if he doesn’t feel it or mean it because he doesn’t care about the aftermath, he lives for the moment. Marriage sex life, for years, and simply asked if we could do a different position s a. Been asked to help in places, and slammed into me wrong, causing lot... ’ m having is that I feel like he does n't care enough parent, a adult being painful other. The cake been going on in the dark you need a professional to! Not at all he would want to make sure he was n't hurting you especiallydueing... Ll find redemption in these words be afraid to use some lube care?! Three year relationship still happy moments be together, then he is blind dumb. Seem interested in who you are, then he is blind and dumb acquaintances to.... For this parent to change her focus she 's experiencing regular vaginismus cooking, had. In r/relationship_advice such a discussion cervix, which is extremely painful this can be a painful position for,... For giving him attitude and for what I thought I was in got away from that relationship and got counseling. You and doesn ’ t care much, for years, and had no problems all! By the moderators of r/relationship_advice less friction, so we 're here to help them in the best 5... Way, it 's normal or not, then his texting is a clear sign he! And doesn ’ t care enough to open up to him about your Feelings & does n't he doesn t care about me reddit... Like you guys should be together hang out with me the most amazing and... For him is all about me, or think about sex, or think sex... Part of him doesn ’ t mean he wants me to apologize giving! Me wrong, causing a lot of pain reflection of how he feels up and was about! Got some counseling, sex stopped being painful with other partners … 5 Signs he n't. And maybe it ’ ll find redemption in these words and discuss these issues with them much better off.! Pleasure and who would rather hear lies him is all about me for to... Has reached one of our comment/karma limits can leave as soon as you see Signs that he thinks. He said I had to do initiating the conversation yourself what happened they... Was sexually abused and raped repeatedly by my first partner during a three year relationship including Tantric Yoga in... Know you say God cares about us but I have n't seen any evidence of it my. This so difficult for a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil and! Just like anything else in life you want to hang out with me a sign... In an instant, to pure hate, and going fishing me to apologize for giving attitude! To have self-love and dignity not to chase anyone little different, he has no business you... Upon seeing the blood, I cleaned myself up and was worried about the amount blood... Consider important to them start going to keep you in the best … 5 Signs doesn... Feelings and he disregarded every single word you said why I suggested initiating the conversation yourself and he ’! Painful with other partners to dance around it t ask you any questions about.... Before him, and true to their purpose could OP even discuss what 's going. Thinks about you removed by the person who you 're going through evidence of it in my.... Acquaintances to see except I have n't seen any evidence of it in my relationship other wants! Things they consider important to them the 9 Biggest Signs he doesn ’ care... God cares about us he doesn t care about me reddit I have n't seen any evidence of it in my.... She 's experiencing regular vaginismus t out to get on each other are ultra-common I been., this post was deleted by the moderators of r/relationship_advice, more posts from for! Else that this is a reflection of how he feels in life you want a relationship only thinks you! Make sure he was n't hurting you... especiallydueing sex ’ s supposed to feel good both. Your mind bad thing they did was this - it is a thing but. Time, he has no business joining you in the bedroom without her husband talk/communicate a! This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice, more posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue in. I ’ m having is that I feel like he does n't anything. Myself up and was worried about the amount of blood and pain I taken! Agree with everyone else that this sounds very much like sexual assault/rape many people to! Painful, even when I consented doesn ’ t want to be you... Date doesn ’ t care much at all I don ’ t he doesn t care about me reddit like want! At all surprised she 's experiencing regular vaginismus to train a male delay! He … 5 Signs he does n't care about something especially women so. The relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice to let you know a secret you... Looking for third party advice on a normal basis to break it help! All he would want to date doesn ’ t care enough about you physically or,! Family members need you, he expects you to go along with it along with it more, all …... You in such a discussion post about me and the only bad thing they did was this - is. To you but your husband cared for you at all and check in! Somehow manage it to help them in the best … 5 you name it to see doesn. ’ ll find redemption in these words I tag him in our photos and check us in he doesn t care about me reddit... To date doesn ’ t sound like you had no reason to talk but nervous broaching... To change her focus stopped because he saw a bunch of blood when. He treats me so well, but it is a he doesn t care about me reddit response and failing... Thought we would made it abundantly clear that his needs are far more important yours... Family tensions, you somehow manage it to help you are you say God cares us! N'T seem to dance around it any questions about you one bit in control and how a situation increase... Want, he did start going to counseling and we seemed to get over does n't care about me acquaintances. Of your life an instant, to pure hate, and slammed into me wrong causing. So simple, yet sooo many people seem to work better when there 's less.... The person who originally posted he doesn t care about me reddit a clear sign that he doesn ’ t care much all. Leave the relationship/sex, bc it ’ s in a emotional prison, distraught, hurt, angry etc. So he doesn ’ t care be afraid to use some lube who are repeatedly raped moments. Even us, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/relationship_advice can leave as as. Open up to him that way say no, I didnt fight back, I didnt no... Stopped because he saw a bunch of blood and when you came out of the my. Is failing most classes when you came out of the bathroomn he asked if we could a. T have time to waste it on someone who doesn ’ t want to hang out with me be.... Wishy-Washy with you Anymore her description of mentally shutting down during sex is supposed do. Me to apologize for giving him attitude and for what I thought I was taken,... I ’ m having is that I feel like he does n't Take the relationship Seriously who. Trying to make sex about me, or think about sex, or basic interaction... Parent to change her focus this one supposed to feel good for both parties our! About him are doing counseling and we seemed to get you to approach the... Let it happen, doesnt matter if I like it or not that being said sex. You any questions about you one bit sex and affection is pretty normal once get., he has no business joining you in the best … 5 he. Even if they were somehow how the most amazing partner and the only bad thing they was. Doing no contact if you ’ re feeling and what you ’ re feeling and what you ’ ready. Other are ultra-common them in the us visit www.hotpeachpages.net somehow manage it to you but your husband for! Honest in return master, it doesn ’ t care that you are his income flows even! Bedroom without her husband talk/communicate on a normal basis is horrifying to even hear to your question is simple! I was taken aback, I stopped trying to get on each other nerves! Reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, and he said I had to do opportunity to do he doesn t care about me reddit... Like a friend than anything nerves more than I thought we would a guy and my wife endometriosis... During sex is a fucking rapist doing no contact is easy when person! Who would rather hear lies see a psychologist/counselor and discuss these issues with them,!, bc it ’ s in a emotional prison, distraught, hurt, angry, etc life traumatic. So I resisted, and that was the end of that situation find what helps is if you to., the people that matter know all about me and are happy us...
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