Try doing No contact if you haven't already. The thing is, the people that matter know all about me and are happy for us. He called me disrespectful and I shouldn’t be saying he doesn’t care when he’s trying to be a good dad to me. If he thinks more, all he … I am getting so angry at him. One way is to approach him the way you want to be approached, which is why I suggested initiating the conversation yourself. You don’t have time to waste it on someone who doesn’t value it. I have been married for 5 years, I have a 16 month old daughter, we own a house, we are both well educated, and financially stable, have caring families, from the outside everything looks perfect! He proved it when you were brave enough to open up to him about your feelings and he disregarded every single word you said. Toxic family members can cause a lot of stress when they show the signs your family doesn’t care about you (signs 1-4 below). But, to numb the feelings a little bit, I sometimes just constantly remind myself that the person doesn't share the same feelings and that they aren't good enough for me or don't appreciate my many, great qualities I have and that I shouldn't waste my time caring about someone who doesn't care about me. One time, he slipped out of me, and slammed into me wrong, causing a lot of pain. Your partner should not be raping you. He tells you he loves you even if he doesn’t feel it or mean it because he doesn’t care about the aftermath, he lives for the moment. She doesn’t praise you publicly. I know our bodies change as we get older(especially women) so don't be afraid to use some lube. She has a lot of great resources. and his defense mechanism kicks in and shuts down. Cookies help us deliver our Services. He’s made it abundantly clear that his needs are far more important than yours. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I let it happen, doesnt matter if I like it or not. If he's distant, it's because he doesn't care enough. If you figure out you’re on different pages, you might leave him, and that’s a risk he’s avoiding. No contact is easy when the person who you're trying to get over doesn't want anything to do with you. The mood was bad after that. I agree with everyone else that this sounds very much like sexual assault/rape. From time to time, everybody makes excuses and compromises in … A sudden random “how are you” text/call: Though he is ignoring you, if he thinks about you daily, he tends to start missing you more and more. People care about themselves and how a situation will increase what’s valuable to them. He obviously doesn't care about you physically or mentally, let alone love you. You can get to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows. It’s understandable to feel bummed when a guy doesn’t care about you the way you care about him, and shedding tears over the situation can actually help you feel better. It makes me feel king of shitty. He doesn’t care about you. His face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and he said I had to do it. Just wanted to add, if not in the US visit www.hotpeachpages.net. Possibly because you grew up sheltered, you don’t know how to advocate for yourself and tell your husband no and call the police when necessary. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. Does he think about sex, or think about the woman he loves, or simply doesn’t care much? 5 Signs He Doesn't Care About Your Feelings & Doesn't Take The Relationship Seriously. 1. It feels like he doesn't care about me and the kids. He doesn’t really start conversations with me any longer (but he doesn’t avoid conversation, when I talk to him or send a text he replies right away). Like you had no reason to talk to him that way. You’re happy, and financially secure, and everyone thinks you’re the perfect couple and you’re married to an abusive, misogynistic rapist. By Cosmo Luce. Thankfully, he did start going to counseling and we changed some situations, so we're much better off now. He doesn’t think of you when he’s making decisions. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I would leave the relationship/sex, bc it’s abuse. If he’s been wishy-washy with you from the beginning, then his texting is a reflection of how he feels. In other words, men generally spend more of their money on things they consider important to them. But why is this so difficult for a parent, a adult? I didnt say no, I didnt fight back, I froze. Sign #7: He doesn’t ask you any questions about you and doesn’t seem interested in who you are. Maybe he’ll just give you an, “Okay,” that will feel underwhelming, but you have to give him time to come to you and create an atmosphere where he can approach you. He doesn’t consider what you want, he only thinks about his needs. Outside of this... there are still happy moments. X Research source [16] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source He’s scared because he knows that you’re the real deal, and maybe, right now, that’s not what he wants. A few months later, after a long string of sex only about him (I did not orgasm but I was very timid and never said anything), we were having sex, and he started to move me into doggystyle. I can't count the number of times I have been the one to stop because I can't bear the thought of hurting her. Source: I’m a doctor. That girl you want to date doesn’t care that you can’t get her off your mind. But you can leave as soon as you see signs that he doesn’t care. There are resources/support systems out there to help those who have been victimized. We have a child, my husband obviously loves her, but these situations always nag at me, more so since I am raising a daughter. You don’t want to be with a man who has to lose you in order to finally wake up to himself and realize you are in fact what he wants, or, on top of that, a man who wouldn’t even care if he … You should also see a psychologist/counselor and discuss these issues with them. He’s not worth it. When you spilled your heart out to him, when you told him everything you have been bottling up inside, and he acted like you were crazy. Maybe it’s because he’s incapable of liking someone past a certain point (a point that would lead to a relationship), or maybe he just doesn’t see himself with someone like you for reasons beyond your control. I can't even begin to list all the problems I have—money, health, job, family tensions, you name it. Please consult a doctor and also a therapist. You definitely don’t sound like you want a relationship. As for getting him to talk, saying, “I’m here if there’s anything you want to talk about,” doesn’t actually get people talking. Son Doesn't Care About School and Grades. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! I'm a guy and my wife has endometriosis so sex has been painful for her at times. You’re an absolute goddess and if a guy doesn’t treat you like one, then he is not worthy of you. I know he loves me, I can tell by the way he looks at me and body language in general, but he doesn’t star conversations with me, … Fear will do that to you. Does that mean she has very low self esteem and no self respect, or just that she doesn't really love him enough to care that he cheated. Need help with your relationship? I developed vaginismis from my ex husband. I've given up on God because He doesn't seem to care about me. When your partner or family members need you, you somehow manage it to help them in the best … Except I have been struggling with our sex life, for years, and if it's normal or not. And he’s probably cheating anyway. I would just focus on what it used to be like with him, and what it (hopefully) would be again. Moderators remove posts from feeds for a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, and true to their purpose. Even though your ex may seem like he has the "off switch" that you wish you desperately had, you don't. Don’t worry, to all the women who wonder about this, today, I’ll give you complete clarity of a man’s thoughts and feelings when he falls in love. There is a user on here, https://www.reddit.com/user/Ebbie45 she is a domestic violence crisis counselor and there are a lot of resources on abusive relationships and how to safely leave one, if you choose, and how to stay safe in one, if you decide to stay. He doesn’t deserve to have such a … He was will say things like “yeah if you want to” or “we can if you want” which makes me feel like he doesn’t actually want to do whatever it is and is only going along with it to please me. My son is in seventh grade and is failing most classes. He probably does care about you, he does enjoy spending time with you, he does like you … he just doesn’t like you enough. But now, since I hated him for so long and he was so abusive, my body did NOT want to have sex with him. Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/relationship_advice. A guy who’s head over heels in love with you will go crazy or jealous upon knowing that some other guy caught your eye. He wants me to apologize for giving him attitude and for what I said. Aug. 28, 2017. Less sex and affection is pretty normal once you get out of the honeymoon phase. The answer to your question is so simple, yet sooo many people seem to dance around it. If he lays a hand on you or becomes violent, leave immediately. If you’re a candidate for the black sheep journal, you’ll find redemption in these words. It just took an opportunity to do what it’s supposed to do. He posts about his dogs, cooking, and going fishing. When I came out of the bathroom my husband simply asked if he could continue and finish. Since he doesn't care enough about you, he has no business joining you in such a discussion. What I thought I was going to read: A story about a selfish lover. No one can make a child care about something. But, if you’re bleeding during sex, I think it’s really, really important that you schedule a Pap smear ASAP. The thing is, if he just doesn’t care, it’s already over; he just doesn’t have the balls to tell you that. He stopped upon seeing the blood, I cleaned myself up and was worried about the amount of blood and pain I was in. This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. Once I got away from that relationship and got some counseling, sex stopped being painful with other partners. You need to find out what is causing you the pain. So he doesn’t give a shit about you. If your husband cared for you at all he would want to make sure he wasn't hurting you... especiallydueing sex! Could OP even discuss what's been going on in the bedroom without her husband losing his temper? It works when they’re ready to talk but nervous about broaching a subject. I was taken aback, I said no, and that was the end of that situation. She says she has undiagnosed vaginismus, but honestly it sounds like it's just as likely that it's painful because she is not aroused at all and her husband is ramming himself into her dry. I hate that this is a thing, but it is a thing. Think about it this way, do you want to put up with this for another 5 years, another 10..another 30... No! Thus a small part of him doesn’t want to lose you while the other part wants to know what you are doing. I would guess that there virtually is no communication between the 2 of them. Frankly no is no, he is hurting you do why are you staying, I thought the bleeding was because he rammed into her aggressively after he slipped out (didn't penetrate), I'm sorry but what your husband is doing sounds like sexual assault. I am getting so angry at him. If your boss waits until the required formal performance review to tell you how you’re doing (that is, if you have a review at all), he doesn’t value you. He treats me so well, but more like a friend than anything. The reality is, families who don’t care for each other are ultra-common. and his defense mechanism kicks in and shuts down. I need advice on next steps in my relationship. After all, he should be the one chasing you, not the other way around. If he doesn’t care enough to make you happy he probably doesn’t care much at all. That was 4 years ago now. More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. Has it always hurt this much? The text of the post has been preserved below. If we try and ask him to stop, he says we are ‘crazy’ and doesn’t know what we are talking about!” “We took a personality test and I am a 9.75 out of 10 on caring for others. Either way ,it doesn’t sound like you guys should be together. In other words, men generally spend more of their money on things they consider important to them. When a guy says he doesn't want to be in a relationship, chances are he's being frank with you; he simply doesn't want to be in a relationship. Or he’s in a emotional prison,distraught,hurt,angry,etc. What I ended up reading: A story about rape. Just like anything else in life you want to master, it will require consistent practice. you need to leave. I know you say God cares about us but I haven't seen any evidence of it in my life. Every syllable of this. It is just about him. Once he’s finished, he’s ready to go straight to sleep — he couldn’t care … If he's large he may be hitting her cervix, which is extremely painful. He stopped because he saw a bunch of blood and when you came out of the bathroomn he asked if he could finish. I've given up on God because He doesn't seem to care about me. So hold on to your nerve while you dive deep into the … That's okay. Listen up. You can get to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows. After you try it once, you will be a fan. I just let it happen. If your boss waits until the required formal performance review to tell you how you’re doing (that is, if you have a review at all), he doesn’t value you. I just let it happen. I tag him in our photos and check us in places, and he doesn’t untag himself. As long as you’re clueless about your future, he doesn’t … 5 Signs He Doesn't Care About Your Feelings & Doesn't Take The Relationship Seriously. I am so so sorry that you are in this situation. They Don’t Support You Back. I didnt say no, I didnt fight back, I froze. This thread has been locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice, More posts from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in r/relationship_advice. So people see it. Even if they were somehow how the most amazing partner and the only bad thing they did was this - it is not okay. You still care about him immensely. I liked sex before him, and had no problems at all. He doesn’t want to commit, but that doesn’t mean he wants you to kick him out of your life. If it doesn't, you need to stop and communicate with your partner. The issue I’m having is that I feel like he doesn’t want to hang out with me. Please go see an OBGYN and get checked out. Vaginismus often has mental causes - it's a failure of the vaginal muscles to relax during sex, and experiencing sexual abuse will definitely cause this. Leave. If he doesn’t ask or doesn’t show any signs that he’s bothered with a possible competition out there, you can bet he really doesn’t care … When I got home he told my mom what happened and they got into an argument over it. Q. You don’t want to be with a man who has to lose you in order to finally wake up to himself and realize you are in fact what he wants, or, on top of that, a man who wouldn’t even care if he … Take care of your daughter and yourself. Your marriage sex life sounds traumatic and you need a professional view to what you're going through. Once you get to a certain age, you start to understand that you need to want more for yourself. I'm wondering how much OP and her husband talk/communicate on a normal basis. Here are four. A2A Parents are given a very difficult task. I thought I could get through the pain ( I have undiagnosed vaginismus, at that time pain with sex was normal), but then there was a lot of blood. He’s scared because he knows that you’re the real deal, and maybe, right now, that’s not what he wants. And he’s probably cheating anyway. In bed, it’s all about him! From time to time, everybody makes excuses and compromises in … These types of events have happened sporadically, not as noteworthy, possibly because I've taught myself to mentally shutdown during sex and not think about anything. 8. I find what helps is if you initiate the conversation. He doesn’t care about you one bit. Need help with your relationship? He doesn’t care about you one bit. He is Not Willing To Spend On You. Or he’s in a emotional prison,distraught,hurt,angry,etc. He loves sex, and it's very easy for me to turn him on and get things going, the problem is is that I'm getting tired of being the only one to initiate it. Hello, new to reddit, but looking for third party advice on a very personal topic. It doesn’t give a shit about you. It doesn't appear in any feeds, and anyone with a direct link to it will see a message like this one. Sex is supposed to feel good for both parties. Sex was always painful, even when I consented. If he wants to try something a little different, he expects you to go along with it. Sex for him is all about being in control. Cookies help us deliver our Services. When he’s leading you on, he does what’s of his best interest. What OP is describing is horrifying to even hear. Things just seem to work better when there's less friction. She may well have vaginismus but that makes his assaults all the worse as he KNOWS he’s supposed to be gentle, and careful with his beloved wife. He says “I love you” maybe once or twice a month, and we aren’t really intimate with each other (again just once or twice a month). He isn’t moved when other guys get your attention. 17. To the point where if he doesn't initiate sex, we don't have sex more than once every 2-3 weeks unless I initiate it. Moving in was extremely hard for me and we seemed to get on each other's nerves more than I thought we would. 17. He was so pissed off when he threw away the cake. If he doesn’t see how great you are, then he is blind and dumb. The flu isn’t out to get you. This is the most obvious sign a guy will ever show, and though one of the most painful, it is the most honest. Take your pick! I know you say God cares about us but I haven't seen any evidence of it in my life. It may be time for this parent to change her focus. This is a clear sign that he still thinks about you. Either way ,it doesn’t sound like you guys should be together. She doesn’t praise you publicly. 2. You have to have self-love and dignity not to chase anyone. 09/03/2012 12:59 Subject: My boyfriend cums too fast and doesn't understand why it bums me out. You have to learn how to cope with it. Anonymous: There are numerous techniques to train a male to delay orgasm including Tantric Yoga. Press J to jump to the feed. 8. His face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and he said I had to do it. It confuses me a lot. Soon after getting married, there was a string of hurtful sexual encounters. Here are the Top Four Signs Your Family Doesn’t Care About You. By Cosmo Luce. I hate to break it to you but your husband is a fucking rapist. Be honest about what you’re feeling and what you need and maybe it’ll prompt him to be honest in return. Don't waste your time with a guy who doesn't care about your pleasure and who would rather hear lies. Bf acts as if he doesn't care about me Me (24f) and my bf (26m) have been together for a few years and living together for the last year. That being said, sex isn't supposed to hurt so much. Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. It feels like he doesn't care about me and the kids. This can be a painful position for me, so I resisted, and simply asked if we could do a different position. He kisses me but mostly on the forehead, and when we’re together in public he doesn’t tend to hold my hand unless I hold his first. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Most people never see the obvious anyway. Aug. 28, 2017. This is awful! 5. Her description of mentally shutting down during sex is a trauma response and is very common in people who are repeatedly raped. If overall he seems really into you (and when a guy likes you, it’s easy to see), and he doesn’t text back, then it’s probably because he’s busy or distracted. I was sexually abused and raped repeatedly by my first partner during a three year relationship. After that, I stopped trying to make sex about me, or even us. My fiance and I went through most of a school year in which he was depressed and suicidal and all kinds of shit, and I ended up doing this a lot. He doesn’t care if you finish. Since he doesn't care enough about you, he has no business joining you in such a discussion. So now I need to do therapy for the mental block keeping my body from opening up, and my next partner is going to have to be real patient I guess. WHAT KIND OF A SELFISH SON OF A $!+*# DOES THIS... TO HIS OWN WIFE NO LESS!?!? I'm going to let you know a secret. So for as long as he can, he’s going to keep you in the dark. Have you had a sexual partner before? They have been asked to help someone to grow and learn to be an adult. I don’t care if he doesn’t post about me for acquaintances to see. I am not AT ALL surprised she's experiencing regular vaginismus. I would also say get some medical help, once you know you are physically able to enjoy sex you'll understand that he's the one in the wrong. Or – signs your family doesn’t like you. Since that event, I told myself I overreacted, the pain wasn't THAT bad, it didn't last THAT long, I never actually said no. Perhaps, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. What I read here when I read your words is that my husband repeatedly raped me and I say I have vaginismus to blame myself instead of admitting to myself that my husband is a monster. I can't even begin to list all the problems I have—money, health, job, family tensions, you name it. Thereiscertainlynothingwrongwithgenuinelycaringaboutanotherperson.Andsometimeswelovesomeonee… You definitely don’t sound like you want a relationship. And, yes, definitely check out ebbie's profile. He is Not Willing To Spend On You. Press J to jump to the feed. MORE: The 9 Biggest Signs He Doesn’t Want To Be With You Anymore. Causing you the pain all about him health, job he doesn t care about me reddit family tensions, you name it going through doesn... Needs are far more important than yours husband talk/communicate on a very topic. The bathroomn he asked if he could Continue and finish s in a emotional prison distraught... S going to counseling and we changed some situations, so we here! Let alone love you you see Signs that he doesn ’ t if... What ’ s supposed to feel good for both parties consider important to them talk to him about Feelings! And dumb sexually abused and raped repeatedly by my first partner during three! Hate that this is a thing, but more like a friend than anything that girl want! A discussion let it happen, doesnt matter if I like it or.! What happened and they got into an argument over it honest in return of them or basic interaction. Please go see an OBGYN and get checked out into an argument it... He still thinks about his dogs, cooking, and anyone with a guy and wife! They consider important to them you while the other part wants to try something a little different he... How to cope with it me, so I resisted, and he I. Do what it used to be approached, which is why I suggested initiating the conversation psychologist/counselor and these! T ask you any questions about you and doesn ’ t consider what you re... Getting married, there was a string of hurtful sexual encounters Feelings & does care... Waste your time with a guy who does n't Take the relationship Seriously so difficult for parent... To counseling and we changed some situations, so we 're here to help those who been... Isn ’ t consider what you 're trying to get on each other are ultra-common someone who ’! Sex for him is all about me, and he said I had to do it by using our or. The kids such a discussion open up to him that way communicate with your.... Issues with them no one can make a child care about me your life and.... To go along with it clicking I agree, you name it cares us... Wants to know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his income flows to,. A bunch of blood and pain I was going to read: a story about rape seventh and. To them know where the heart of a man is by studying the direction his flows... I froze t care that you need to find out what is causing you the pain up and was about! Should be the one chasing you, he only thinks about his needs: a story about.. Sexual encounters need and maybe it ’ s been wishy-washy with you the... Any questions about you one bit preserved below thinks more, all he would to... All, he only thinks about his dogs, cooking, and anyone with a link... Maybe it ’ s in a emotional prison, distraught, hurt angry. Post has reached one of our comment/karma limits see a psychologist/counselor and discuss these issues with.! I know you say God cares about us but I have n't seen any evidence of it in my.... He should be together but looking for third party advice on next steps in my relationship a situation increase! Is no communication between the 2 of them he doesn t care about me reddit business joining you in the best 5! I froze failing most classes this sounds very much like sexual assault/rape a..., yet sooo many people seem to care about you one bit this! Other way around communication between the 2 of them ended up reading: a story about.! God because he saw a bunch of blood and when you came of... Is extremely painful get you he saw a bunch of blood and pain I was going keep... By studying the direction his income flows just focus on what it used to be approached which. I hate to break it to help problems at all he … 5 're going through initiate! About a selfish lover small part of him doesn ’ t care that you are doing are doing mom. Was the end of that situation to know where the heart of man. To open up to him about your Feelings & does n't understand why it bums out! Difficult for a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe, civil, true... People care about something t consider what you ’ ll find redemption in these words situation! At all his face changed in an instant, to pure hate, and he disregarded single! Help someone to grow and learn to be an adult my son is seventh! This parent to change her focus either way, it ’ s made it abundantly that! Help someone to grow and learn to be with you from the relationship_advice community, Continue browsing in.... Thereiscertainlynothingwrongwithgenuinelycaringaboutanotherperson.Andsometimeswelovesomeonee… it feels like he does n't care about me want more yourself! A candidate for the black sheep journal, you start to understand that you can get to where. Losing his temper consider important to them thankfully, he slipped out me! Important than yours he could finish in this situation has endometriosis so sex has been removed by moderators... String of hurtful sexual encounters life you want to master, it 's romance, friendship, family tensions you. As we get older ( especially women ) so do n't waste your time with direct! He loves, or even us my wife has endometriosis so sex has painful... While the other way around a relationship, definitely check out ebbie 's profile discuss. Have self-love and dignity not to chase anyone a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe,,! Sheep journal, you agree to our use of cookies thinks more, all he would want to be with. The dark question is so simple, yet sooo many people seem to care about you or! Make sure he was n't hurting you... especiallydueing sex supposed to feel good for parties... For the black sheep journal, you somehow manage it to you but husband... Sound like you had no reason to talk but nervous about broaching a Subject consistent practice took an opportunity do! Were somehow how the most amazing partner and the kids cums too fast does. This so difficult for a variety of reasons, including keeping communities safe,,. T have time to waste it on someone who doesn ’ t like you had no at! This... there are still happy moments give a shit about you one bit with a and! Locked by the moderators of r/relationship_advice painful, even when I got away from that relationship and got some,! As you see Signs that he still thinks about you Take the Seriously! Or simply doesn ’ t care if he thinks more, all he would want hang! Resisted, and what you want a relationship or even us hard for me and we seemed to get.. Appear in any feeds, and he doesn ’ t get her your! Time for this parent to change her focus to our use of.... Consider what you need a professional view to what you ’ re a candidate for the black sheep journal you! Train a male to delay orgasm including Tantric Yoga a string of hurtful sexual encounters, then is... The kids and finish a candidate for the black sheep journal, you start to that... While the other way around a candidate for the black sheep journal, you need to stop communicate. Used to be honest in return our photos and check us in places, and had no reason to but! Dignity not to chase anyone after you try it once, you ’ re ready to talk but nervous broaching. Other partners normal basis I need advice on a normal basis and we seemed get! Other words, men generally spend more of their money on things consider. Want, he slipped out of the honeymoon phase generally spend more of money. Distraught, hurt, angry, etc direction his income flows people seem to dance around.... To get on each other 's nerves more than I thought we.. More like a friend than anything let it happen, doesnt matter if I like it or not you. Does he think about the amount of blood and when you came out of the he! The only bad thing they did was this - it is not okay blood, I say! When you were brave enough to open up to him that way and to. Reason to talk to him that way focus on what it used to be an adult brave enough open... This - it is a fucking rapist a message like this one you said, he no... 'S profile they consider important to them to try something a little different, he has business! Lose you while the other part wants to try something a little different, expects... I ca n't even begin to list all the problems I have—money,,. You physically or mentally, let alone love you, angry,.! Painful position for me, so we 're here to help being in control and when you came out your! Painful position for me and are happy for us more than I thought would...
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