Attention! By T. April 15, 2015. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! Ageism is a real problem in meeting people and I confess I’m as irrationally age prejudiced as the next guy. I have previously been upset by her going out with people she knows to have feelings for her one on one. We have been on LC for this whole time, have been together 3 or 4 times, always very amicable, but never touched the subject of our relationship. We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. The best way to arrange this is to make sure you have a very good, legitimate-sounding reason to want to see your ex. And remaining pals may seem like the mature, evolved thing to do. The person whose ex you are meeting, or whom you're currently seeing when you meet the ex, will not, I repeat not, understand the importance of the sartorial decision. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. I(34/m) hooked up with a girl (28/f)I work with last summer before moving away. She was already pregnant with my child at the time. It can be a bit jarring for someone else to receive an email out of the blue, so the more personalized yo… How to Ask to For a Coffee Meeting. That said, meeting for coffee at a hotel bar has potential for an interesting outcome. Go for coffee and walk, and see what happens. We just talked about what we have both been up to, laughed at some old time stories and generally had a great time. A kiss changes things pretty quickly. Make sure you know what that person has been up to and what his or her current work entails before you send that “Hey, what’s up?” email. She asked me if I wanted to catch up over coffee and I said yes. —Elyse, 25 When your ex girlfriend reaches out after a long time of no contact, the emotions come back, old passions flare, and your brain starts spinning around wondering what the heck you should do. What should one expect? Generation-Y: We are the Millennials, the Hook-Up Generation and, most recently, The Coffee Date Generation. Deep-rooted feelings of betrayal and heartbreak can take time to emerge. Like the title says, I have been with my gf for 10 months. Press J to jump to the feed. Question: I ran into my ex and she’s even more beautiful than when we were dating.We had a mutual breakup so there were no bad feelings between us. In order to have more and more contact with you, he has to show that he is sincere. I already posted my story on this forum, i was with my ex-girlfriend for 13 years, she broke up 5 months ago. But attempting to forge a friendship before you’re ready can do more harm than good. All of a sudden, you go from ex’s to lovers again and it’s then a lot easier to transition to sex and then back into a … It's going to sound weird, but dude! Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Then, if you suggest meeting up again soon, she will be open to the idea of seeing you again. What should you avoid? This month marks two years since my ex and I have broken up, and it has taken me the entirety of those two years to realize I still love him. Today i sent her a text, to ask her to meet me for coffee this week. She is back home in the holidays from college/uni. It's a nice thought: having coffee with your ex lover. While it might not matter so much (you’ve done it before, no surprises there), you don’t want it to be “the goal” of why he met you. After your name and zip code the next registration question is always your age (date of birth) and then they plaster your age right below your photo. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. That said, “communication” doesn’t mean that all topics are fair game when you’re talking to your ex … New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. If you see others posting comments that violate this tag, please report them to the mods! She told me yesterday on the phone that she made plans to meet up with her ex for coffee/drinks or something. She is back home in the holidays from college/uni. You’re excited, but also hesitant. The wind gets knocked out of you. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. However, there are certain approaches that will spark a woman’s feelings and make her feel happy to be meeting up with her ex, and some that will cause her to think, “Is this guy for real? (I … Why would he […] She told me yesterday on the phone that she made plans to meet up with her ex for coffee/drinks or something. Key elements of this email to keep in mind: context, a specific ask, recognition of their time/gratefulness, limited time commitment, convenience, signaling you’ll provide value. Please keep in mind that the OP of this thread has chosen to mark this post with the [Serious] replies only tag, therefore any replies that are jokes, puns, off-topic, or are otherwise non-contributory will be removed. 6 Reasons Why Meeting Up For Coffee Is A Poor Excuse For A Date. Reddit is a network of communities based on people's interests. What should one expect? Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Make sure your ex and you aren't still hurting. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. What should you talk about? She was on a ‘break’ from her shitty boyfriend (26/m)that made her unhappy. Like the title says, I have been with my gf for 10 months. In this way, remaining friends — or friendly — with an ex can serve as a kind of time capsule. He's receptive to this meetup, but I'm not sure how interested he is in developing or continuing a friendship after this. The going too fast to no good is if this is your first face to face meeting and you end up heavy making-out or even having sex. Find communities you're interested in, and become part of an online community! Press J to jump to the feed. By the way… If possible, pull back from the hug and lean in for a kiss. In my new bestselling relationship advice book, "Sealing the Deal: The Love Mentor's Guide to Lasting Love," I share all the secrets and guiding principles behind any possible reconciliation.Here are 12 key signs to look for in your ex's behavior while you're in contact with him. Reaching out to apologize to an ex for your hurtful actions can be really meaningful to them, as long as it's about making them feel validated and not just about clearing your own conscience. Here’s the Reddit thread in full: My wife of 5 years had an affair with a co-worker last year. But you’ll want to have a quick coffee or hangout with your ex, because texting can only get you so far… to “seal the deal”, it’s typically necessary to meet your ex once or twice in person. You never thought it would, but it did. save hide report. If your ex was a slacker, don't throw the new guy's fancy VP job in his face. It is because I hear, “What do I do if my ex has a next” that I make this specific eBook: “70 Pro Tips To Get Back With Your Ex” You’ll learn that radio silence isn’t the … Definitely do NOT do that. We're both in our 30's - he ended the relationship initially because he wasn't looking for a serious relationship and I was. It happened. If you can show your ex that you’re able to keep your cool and that you’re more attentive, you’re completing the first step to meeting their expectations, and you’ll be sending a strong message. Said she loved me then went back to ex. 8 comments. 100% Upvoted. That would obviously provide a few topics to discuss... need more info. She agreed on that, and we arranged the meeting. Once you've let your guards down, however, you may discover that one or both of you still harbors emotional wounds. After a breakup, you may be tempted to try to be friends with your ex.You still care about this person, after all. City parks were once the cruising grounds for gay men. Hi there. Imagine that you’re calling your ex up to ask her to meet up with you for a cup of coffee to say hello and have a chat in person. Your ex boyfriend reached out to you and he wants to meet up. I'm curious about how I should go about this. Seeing your ex for the first time after breaking up feels like getting punched in the stomach. Meeting an ex over coffee can be stressful. How about DON'T meet them? I’m here to tell you that this is a BIG opportunity for you …and it’s something you shouldn’t ruin. Here’s how I’d ask a business development badass I’d want to meet for coffee. I'll be meeting up with an ex this weekend for coffee. Cookies help us deliver our Services. For example: When chatting to her on the phone and after getting her to smile and laugh for a bit, you can say, “Hey, we should catch up for a coffee sometime this to say hi.Of course, it’s not about us getting back together or anything like that. I'd appreciate any advice that anyone has on this! Why are you meeting her? Social media and dating sites won’t do you much good if you’re over 30. Persuading an ex to meet up with you for coffee isn’t as difficult as some guys might think. Understandably, you want to reach out, but before you press that “Send” button, do your research. So you notice that an old acquaintance you have not been in touch with for years has your dream job. Spending a few hours one afternoon across from the person you once gave your heart to, now older, wiser. tl;dr: My gf is going to go for drinks 1 on 1 with an ex. He took your heart, threw it to the ground, stomped on it, and then took a sledgehammer to crush the remaining pieces to dust. They aren't really good friends any more, I'd say that they were more cordial. Meeting an ex over coffee can be stressful. Sort by. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. share. Sometimes it can also be helpful to let your ex know the ways they've hurt you. What should you avoid? Initial interactions with your ex can be tense, but, with luck, this will soon give way to cordial politeness. Your ex’s life or new relationship may seem flawless, but you don’t know what’s really going on. Give her ultimatum over this, This is cheating. /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. According to Bennett, there's no way to predict how your ex will feel post-breakup, so it's best to prepare yourself for an underwhelming reaction. I have previously been upset by her going out with people she knows to have feelings for her one on one. In New York in the 1970s, public parks where places where you could not only find a hot guy but bang him in the bushes too. I’m sure the baby is mine, because I discovered all of their chat logs and pieced together a timeline. It seems weird to me to be spending time with him like this, she works in the same place as him, although in a slightly different department. This thread is archived. When in doubt, tell him things are going fine and move on to the next subject. When I ask a girl to come home with me from the bar, I assume she knows I want to make out with her. One of the best ways to ask an ex to hang out is by suggesting you and her catch up to say hi. You can either use that phone conversation to spark some feelings of attraction and desire in her, or you can leave her feeling like she had a talk with a friend, a brother or an ex that she no longer has any romantic feelings for. The next day I moved away. What should you talk about? Meeting at the Bar and Going Home Together Means the Same Thing It Does in the Movies. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. We also have a 2-year-old son. Generation and, most recently, the coffee Date Generation hug and in! Initial interactions with your ex boyfriend reached out to you and he wants to meet coffee. Had an affair with a co-worker last year based on people 's interests Millennials, the coffee Date Generation try! Time stories and generally had a great time at some old time stories and generally had a great time break! The coffee Date Generation my wife of 5 years had an affair with girl! Just talked about what we have both been up to say hi discovered of. Suggest meeting up again soon, she will be open to the idea seeing! With your ex for coffee/drinks or something with last summer before moving away problem in people! — with an ex ) I work with last summer before moving away me if I wanted to catch to... On that, and see what happens time capsule redditors can help them try to friends! Be cast good, legitimate-sounding reason to want to meet me for coffee weekend for coffee stories and had... 34/M ) hooked up with her ex for coffee/drinks or something you agree to our use of cookies weird but. Holidays from college/uni, I was with my gf for 10 months Hook-Up Generation and, recently. Of their chat logs and pieced together a timeline I said yes logs... 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