Then she says to him he is just taking my money...I plan on buying into his house once we are married...I did buy us a car..but once the house payment comes in he will pay me back. I'll take any advice anyone is willing to give me, but I guess the real reason I'm posting is because I just wanted to let off some steam. Hey I have no problems with success. It's easy to feel jealous but at the end of the day, he's more sucessful than you and it's not a bad thing. Cognitive_Canine. It doesn't matter that he said you're "prettier on the inside." Just remember, there is a reason that he is with you, and not with her. I'm not talking to the other girl because she's back with her fiancee. can we stop hating on the 'successful' people for a few moments? Ok, so i know this is rediculous of me and theres so much more to someone than how they look. We met at a bar my sophomore year of college. Now, if her guy is seeing the ex socially without Smith present, talking to her often, etc, then yes that is a big red flag. Oh goodness me, I mustn't tell my boyfriend that I wish he would compliment me more, otherwise the entire nation will crumble before us because … She then proceeded to write him emails for three years about how he should dump me for a weekend and go have sex with her. But whatever. How come life is so unfair!!!!! There is power in denial. The first one was on a similar degree to me when we were together, and after we broke up she ended up dropping out and then trying to become a croupier. After breaking up with me he became more focused in school work, got over his Facebook addiction, and even became student of the month for … It’s serious. I remind myself that my boyfriend loves me for me. it doesn't matter. The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. To many people, a woman being involved with wealthy professional must automatically mean that woman must be on cloud nine really happy. Answer Questions. I don't care. That happens when your ex is more professionally successful than you. Believe that you and your ex are at different points in life and that you can both be successful-accept wherever you are and who you are is enough for right now. "If you and your [partner] run into their ex and the exchange is normal, without any verbal or physical awkwardness, then they are probably more into you than their ex," Henry says. 12-10-2008, 12:01 AM #2. Here are some common beliefs people have about their partner’s ex, followed by ways to help shift your perspective toward feeling more comfortable and confident in your relationship with your partner.1. My boyfriend has a minature fox terrier that gets way more attention than me. You dated for a while, but things started falling apart. You are inferior to your partner’s ex. He needs to be your biggest cheerleader. Everything was great. I know he loves me, but im curious to whose more attractive on strictly physical appearence. We are both females. You resent your partner, but you resent their ex even more for having had a relationship with him or her. For example: A guy might say to himself, “I have to re-spark my ex’s feelings of attraction to get her back, but I won’t be able to achieve that if I look like my old self, so I’ll have to get myself a makeover. My boyfriend has a minature fox terrier that gets way more attention than me. Insecurity needs more consideration than COVID19- Ex governor,Attahiru Bafarawa to Buhari . Ring shopping has happened; he’s met my dad (no man in my life ever gets to meet Dad). I am super proud of him and he deserves it! My ex over exaggerates to his friends about how much he earns. You are right, dont concentrate on her or her life and compare. You are aware, on some level, that it's not rational to blame people for living their lives before you came on the scene, but you just can't help yourself. You fell in love. All i know is that she is working at a coffee shop. Shockingly, they didn’t play ball with my controlling ways. But you know what? I'm dating a rich lawyer. How did she know they never went anyplace as she was "dating" a married man. take your mind off of it for a couple months and then start anew. I deserve to stand alongside every one of those women whom I compare myself to. I haven't seen her in over a year and I haven't talked to her...I guess it was about a year ago. Tells me how "zen" she is and calm. My bf is a great guy who happens to be successful. Outward appearances don't mean much. Yeah, I guess you could say things are really starting to get serious. I kept comparing myself with him all the time. looks to me that Mr boyfriend values friendship and his loved one’s well being more than his futile professional race or ascension. it feels like you are lying to yourself. Everyone loves a romance, especially when they see the romance with a well-to-do person. I was dumped and betrayed by my boyfriend a few months ago and I was working my a*** off to try and get him back. i don't see why dating someone who is using you is a step above being single. January 21, 2021. My live-in boyfriend and I have been together for two years. Should I dump him? The most "successful" people are some of the most screwed up and unhappy people on the planet. Why unprovable? to bed (set, go) 23. i know plenty of people who have successful careers AND are perfectly happy, centered people. My (ex) boyfriend is doing way better than me career wise. At first, I thought I was uncomfortable with how pretty and fun she seemed, but I realized it was just that I felt that he loved her significantly more than he loved me. Observe What Part of Yourself You Don't Like. I only wear eyeliner and mascara and she wears literally everything. yet he was more fun. 10 answers. January 21, 2021. They spoke to him. I do have a question though, the girl your seeing... B----( dates and flowers trying to win her over ), C----( allot of time together talking and you feel like shes your gf and things may escalate to more). I'll take any advice anyone is willing to give me, but I guess the real reason I'm posting is because I just wanted to let off some steam. Another reason your ex won’t talk to you is that your ex feels engulfed by guilt. Yeah there were times when I'd moved on I still felt sad. That may or may not be the case..the only person who REALLY knows is the woman herself. We text each other and chat online, but that's about it. I have not spoken to her for many years. But this other girl I'm talking to...she met someone a week before me and obviously likes him better than me. I didn’t think too much about the difference in our income until now. you go out to eat with your current fling and you see a whack of girls and think there cute and begin to wonder if they would like you... meanwhile your trying to keep up with a conversation about your flings hair ( maybe your interested in hair idk use something you are not overly excited about). Ko. Schizophrenia or Schizotypal Personality? we don't know this ex gf nor her new boyfriend. ... we don't know this ex gf nor her new boyfriend. At least, most of them did. changes partners more often than socks; spends more time dating than on oneself; posts sad or frustrating relationship quotes ; talks badly about the people that he or she dated; 5)Drugs and addictions. looks to me that he is more driven by passion than fear of failure in life, he walks off the beaten tracks he has not the fear of rejection from society, he is simply proud with the person he is and no one should, would or could take this away from him. My ex Narc was parading a new love around our area looking all happy to make me jealous when I refused him a large amount of money. Your link has been automatically embedded. I realize I'm not in competition with her...I should stop looking at it like that. We are both females. And he happened to be the cold-blooded jerk that broke your heart and left you for another woman. I'm being strung along by some girl and I'm letting it happen because I'm desperate. I guess I'm able to sleep at night only because I'm delaying it. What to do if all ur dreams crash ? There is nobody else like me. “My girlfriend makes a lot more than me. So that makes nobody really pathetic .. If your partner often speaks with an ex girlfriend … But I found out she's gotten really serious with this big-shot lawyer, and his family is apparently worth millions. What you are experiencing is normal for someone who is still healing. The guy is usually a stuck up * * * * * who sleeps around. Also she lives just around the corner from us. Yet I have never called her or written her. Top, My Tomato: A chap will forget you earn more money, he'll forget you're more successful, but he'll never forget if you make him feel weaker. Have been for years. His mistake is the more obvious one: It is deeply fucked that your boyfriend said his ex is more attractive than you. He’s a performer and already has a solid fan base and is traveling the country and has plans to travel the world under his new management to perform. The two coexist you know. Live your life and don't pay her any mind. At any rate, it made you start to question yourself. Ko. I'm successful, too...to a lesser extent. Your vigilance is meant to somehow prevent your partner from going back to their ex. He tells her too much about us....she tells him too much about her self...he thinks I am insecure....well I just feel uncomfortable him going over to her place....he wants to be friends with her...but she wont accept us and says we wont work and he is in fantasy land....she is still angry that he divorced her...she also thinks he is unable to love any body. And you want to know what’s worse? Go to first unread Skip to page: Anonymous #1 #1 Report Thread starter 3 years ago #1 I should say first that my partner is 5 years older than me, so perhaps I am expecting too much, but here goes. I certainly don't have millions of dollars, but I'm ok. I've been in a similar situation where I was feeling a bit bad that my ex had it going better than me. Oh and you have to stop indulging in self pity, you can be happy too. Nothing worked, and I gave up and I am MOSTLY over him. Find other places to vent about the ex. 5. 5)Guilt . As far as feeling bad about her love life, don't. Do not look at others and assume that life is just peachy for them...you never really know behind the scenes if it is really all that peachy...and even if it is peachy at that point in time, you never now when things will have a downturn. Ever since I have been with him his ex blames me for their divorce...I wasn't around then. So that's my life. This reader has a situation that really demonstrates how Girls seriously hits the … thank you! She works in consulting, and I work odd jobs while I try to find acting work. The more entrenched you become in your convictions, the more you grow suspicious of your partner and seek continual affirmation from them. Hey, any famous is more famous than I am. Focus on something else, a hobby, one of your goals that you never accomplished. As you continue to build the case against the viability of your current relationship, you are also promoting the "amazingness" of your partner's past relationship. Why is everyone assuming she's miserable? The results of these kinds of comparisons are unfairly burdensome and unrealistic: They are exes, after all. Despite past traumas, there is no way to build a secure foundation in your partnership other than to take a leap of faith that your partner is who they appear to be. Since past disappointments can shape your outlook and capacity to trust, it makes sense that you are driven to seek reassurance, validation, recognition, and acknowledgment from your partner. Tl:dr My boyfriend treated his ex like a queen and treats me like an afterthought. You are suspicious that your partner’s ex has ulterior motives. One guy in particular always goes on about how upset he is with how his life turned out because he never had anyone. It’s also important to keep in mind that your partner can’t help the relationships they were in previously, and the same holds true for you. When you inflate the ex’s importance to your partner, you are setting your relationship up to fail, because the only way to envision your partner’s relationship with their ex is by making their ex come alive through your fear-ridden, distorted lens. Due to holidays we were distant for a period of time, less than a month. You are beautiful, and incredibly loved. My (ex) boyfriend is doing way better than me career wise. very good advice! What hurts me the most is...well I guess this whole thing has made me take a good, hard look at my life and realize, I'm not happy. Well, fear no more, because this quiz will let you know if he really loves you or jus... Are you starting to worry whether your boyfriend/husband loves you or not? I made that clear to them from the minute it was over. And my ex is doing better than ever. All … My social media life is a serious mess. She used to send him cards with kisses on them. Money just doesnt make people happy. To combat that instinct, keep working on self-awareness. If your ex is doing drugs and became addicted to various unhealthy things, this is a huge sign of unhappiness. It doesn't matter that he said you're "prettier on the inside." It can even feel comforting to compel your partner to join you in dismissing or downplaying their past relationship. Yes, I'm wasting my time on her, but as I said, I haven't met anyone else. But for as much as I thought I was healed...I don't know...this really hurt. They don't know the true story behind the scenes..the fact that you are miserable, settling for someone who doesn't treat you right etc. I work with elderly people...I know many that have never been married. Upload or insert images from URL. Looks can be deceiving. Yup, however, it was tough being told the her ex was more fun to be with than me. And that's the furthest thing from the truth. My life didn't feel so bad after all. The reality is that a broken heart can happen whether you put trust in your relationship or not. I'll try and keep this brief. hit the nail on the head. Are Meaningful Daily Activities Linked to Well-Being? I'm so sorry Lola. My first two girlfriends are definitely not more successful than me. In the mean time I got engaged and started my own business. Money and rich laywers dont necessarily mean happiness. Our relationship is the longest he has been in, and we have a five-month-old daughter. Further, as difficult as this might be to fathom, the likelihood that your partner is in a relationship with you just to shame you for being inferior to their ex is pretty low. You are the one who decides whether you have a future or not. Your partner negatively compares you to their ex. His family lives out of the country but he brought me there with him to meet them and meet his friends. The natural tendency of people is to go "OOOH, she is with a wealthy lawyer (or doctor etc), she is sooo happy. Gospel Singer Ada Ehi Releases A New Album “Congratulations” Featuring Buchi . Its not your place to worry or compare anymore. You may want to hear highlights about their ex's flaws. Remember your strengths. It's like it came out of left field. I remind myself that I have my own strengths, my own beauty. Your dislike of the ex doesn’t belong to your partner; it belongs to you. There is nobody else like me. i've asked this question before on here, and the responses i got all said her because i "was too fake" and "wore too much makeup". You hooked up. Treat the most recent woman the same way you are treating your ex, nc. The fact that the word “ex” signifies a breakup is lost in the fear and paranoia that you will be abandoned unless you stay vigilant. Your ex didn’t initially realize that he or she has hurt you badly. Rebecca Whitten says: February 14, 2020 at 3:32 pm. And my ex is doing better than ever. My boyfriend John (fake name alert) was really close with his ex, whom he had broken up with seven years prior. Jackie Kennedy Onassis looked like she led a charmed life married to wealthy, influential men....behind the scenes what kind of charmed life did she really have....John F. Kennedy couldn't keep his pants zipped and had a parade of women and her second marriage was to Mr. Super Duper Wealthy Man 23 years her senior. When these fears are indulged, they can result in paranoia and preoccupation with the ex. When you begin to treat yourself better you will begin to feel better. There's nothing to say in response. Just work on yourself and support him Thanks for this, I … I see dreams all the time that my ex best friend is way more successful than me now and i am way below her.....what do these dreams means? As far as the ex and her new bf are concerned ...give it no thought...worry about you! ...that might not help at all but i kinda just started writing my bases is i beileve people meet by chance and you tend to accidently trip someone and send them flying ( your potential love lol ) when your concentrating on something you like to do. I am "dating" a great girl right now, but she's kind of using me as a "plan b"--and I'm letting her--because her more serious guy is long distance. Everything gets easier with practice, even resisting the urge to make comparisons. You see my ex turned out to be a doctor, even though she is younger compared to me. I've made it a point to not know her anymore and it has worked like a charm. Top, My Tomato: A chap will forget you earn more money, he'll forget you're more successful, but he'll never forget if you make him feel weaker. You fear your partner's ex is plotting to get back together (and will succeed). Feeling insecure about your partner’s ex? They think that he is full of BS quite frankly. I think my boyfriends ex is gorgeous she's toothpick skinny perfect smile everything.. he tells me I'm the hottest girlfriend he's had but when I read comments he posted on her pictures before me and him started dating it makes me feel so insecure. We fell in love like we never did before and he said he knew he wanted to marry me and so did I. I am still nursing through a six month break-up and trying to fix my life back. Actress Bisola Aiyeola reveals beautiful images to mark her 35th anniversary today. I know I'm not in any competition with my ex. Wow my ex is doing so much better than I am. From an unbiased outside view, I think it would be wise to have a conversation with your husband about how his defending of her hurts you. But a part of me still gets jealous whenever I see him success in something. A new theory aims to make sense of it all. If I was talking to my ex as an old friend (which I NEVER will) and she asked how I was doing, I'd have to lie and say, you know what...I'm great! Holding on to suspiciousness and distrust won’t protect you from feeling devastated if your relationship ends. You're not alone. My long-distance significant other and I have been dating for a little over two years. I had a dream my boyfriend got shot ? January 21, 2021. Because fixating on something and someone you have no control over does not leave room for reassurance that will stick. So focus on your own life...and one place I would start is by ending this farce of a relationship you are currently in because you deserve better. I highly doubt that he is actually really happy if he needs to gloat about his monetary success... Getting information from a third party about someone's degree of happiness is not necessarily going to tell you the whole truth. If you were in a relationship long-term (longer than six months), and your ex has left you for someone else, keep reading, because this is the article for you. Just be happy in you. looks to me that he is more driven by passion than fear of failure in life, he walks off the beaten tracks he has not the fear of rejection from society, he is simply proud with the person he is and no one should, would or could take this away from him. Still, you couldn't help but notice that your boyfriend's ex is...prettier (or more handsome), smarter, more successful—or at least it seemed that way in your mind. He is also humble and outgoing and pretty much has a better heart than anyone I know. I have been engaged for two years and have known my partner for 5 in total. Remember your strengths. Its really late so my appologies for the spelling and possible poor grammer i missed if something seems offensive or out of line just let me know.
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